Big Changes

August is the month that always seems to bring big changes in my life. In 2001, August was the month when I was diagnosed with diabetes and thyroid disease. It was the same month, and same day that year actually, that I found out I was getting laid off. See what I mean? BIG changes! Then in 2006, August was the month I found out I was pregnant! Another BIG (but very good) change. Now in 2010, August is bringing about some major life changes...even bigger than the past if you can believe that! This August we will be packing up and moving several states away to Nashville, TN.

Brad got a new job in Nashville, which has been a result of many years of searching and many prayers. My prayers were more focused on him getting that new opportunity here in Orlando, where the majority of our family is, but God has other plans it seems. I am torn because I'm so happy for him, but so sad to be leaving family and friends, my job and a whole life that we built here. Right now our whole life is in motion...my job, Evan's daycare, our house...all these things have to be figured out in a new city. We are very grateful that we do have Brad's sister and family there in Nashville, so we have smiling faces to great us when we arrive.

But all these BIG changes, even the good ones, come with at least some amount of fear and worry. Looking back I can see how God worked through what seemed so devastating 9 years ago, so why wouldn't he be working in that same way now? He is, and I need to remember that. My emotions make it hard for me, but I'm fighting them and praying a lot. Looking to God's word helps. Isn't that how He works? He puts you in situations where you are reminded how helpless and out of control you are. He wants you to come to him as He is the only true help, and he doesn't want you to lose sight of that.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

We've already seen God working in so many ways over the last few weeks. I am going to be able to continue working at my job, just remotely. God has placed me in a wonderful company with great people. This is the job he dropped into my lap, through a dear friend, right after I got laid off 9 years ago. He knew what the future held. I am in the process of hiring a marketing assistant to be in the office and support me. It had always been the plan to have a 2 person marketing department, and I'm excited that there are some very qualified candidates who are interested in the position. I had looked to fill this position 4 months ago, but had a smaller qualified candidate pool available at that time and the company decided to use internal resources instead. Again, just shows how God works in the right time.

Ideally, we would like to move up to Nashville over Labor Day weekend. Brad needs to be at his job that first full week in September. They are currently letting him work remotely for the month of August to give us the time we need for the move. But, as of now, we don't have a place to rent. We have a few options we are looking into, and keeping our eye out for anything new. It's so hard when you don't know an area...we are using our family up there as a resource, which has been a huge help! But, preschool for Evan has also been a bit hard to find in a good location to where we may rent and where Brad's job is, and is also affordable. I didn't realize how good we had it at his current preschool, I guess. Plus, I would love a Christian preschool again. I got discouraged at first but have found some possibilities that are Christian. Hoping we really like them once we visit them.

I would appreciate prayers for all the final details to work out quickly and in God's will. And prayers that my emotions don't overwhelm me as we say goodbye. My family and friends have been so supportive and helped make it so much easier for me. There encouragement means the world to me, and also reminds me why I loved living close to them. I'm going to miss everyone so much! But don't worry, we will be visiting as much as we can - definitely for Christmas. Plus, I may need to come back from time to time for my job.

Potty Training: Consistency and Commitment

I'm finding that the key to success in potty training my little boy is going to be consistency and commitment. As a two working parent household it's hard for us to commit to the consistency it takes to potty train him. We've watched videos (actually, I think Evan liked watching the potty training video more than we did!), read articles and listened to parents who have been through it. We are just trying to figure out how to make it work for us. We have the potty chair, the potty chart with stickers, and treats for a reward. He was sort of interested when we first introduced it all but now he just runs away screaming "No" when I say he needs to go to the potty. I really have no indication when he goes pee but I can definitely tell when he is going poo as he does this funny little dance! Oh, and it's usually right at dinner time! Fun! Ulimately we are finding it's really less about whether he is ready, which I think he has been for some time, but whether me and my hubby are ready! :)

Life has been crazy and hectic and so many things have taken priority over potty traning. But I recently heard about a 3 day potty training bootcamp. I was really hoping it wouldn't come to that though many said it's what works, but others also say that kids just "get it" and you don't want to force them. Who to believe? A lot of little boys I know were around 3 years old and Evan will be 3 in April. But he shows the signs of readiness so I've decided we need to take action soon! :) Oh, and he's one of only 2 kids left in his 2 year old class that aren't potty trained. His class is mostly girls though and they tend to pick it up earlier, so at least that makes me feel better.

Unfortunately our schedule and the ability to stay home all one weekend to do the training is hard. March is our month of birthdays, both friends and family, so we have events booked most weekends. Right now I'm realizing I don't have enough big boy underwear (as they tend to have a lot of accidents), and I've got a cold that is just hanging on, plus we are having someone babysite Evan overnight next weekend and I really don't want to put them in the position of having to deal with a newly potty trained little boy! All of these excuses (though valid I believe!) are going to get in the way until the last weekend of March or first weekend of April, depending on when my nephew's birthday party gets scheduled. But once I pin down the weekend, we are going to get him potty trained! I'm putting it out there so I'll have even more motivation to follow through! I need to be held accountable I think.

Anyone have any tips or feedback on their experience potty training? I'd love your thoughts and reassurance that it isn't as awful a process as I think it is and I shouldn't be dreading it! :)

A Peace With Preschool

After over a month of looking for a preschool/daycare to send Evan when he turned 2 years old, we finally decided on one. We are so blessed to be able to send him to a Christian preschool, and all the circumstances have showed it's a God send. When we first started looking there were no Christian full-time preschools near us, or that seemed to be feasible to drive to. It wasn't until after we'd missed the one opening at a daycare center near us that I started to research further, and a friend mentioned the place we are now sending him to. God does work in our lives, we've seen it time and again. This is just another instance.

Yet, even resting in the assurance that this is the right place to send Evan, I still take on the role of the worried mother. It feels like I'm dropping him off at a few months old to return to work. Since at that time, he was in the care of family, it didn't phase me much to leave him then. Though I did truly miss him, and still do. This time we are leaving him with strangers, that we are trusting with his care and well-being. It's also a whole new routine for our family, and I know it will take some time to adjust to it. Especially for him, as they don't allow pacifiers so we've been trying to break him from them this weekend. It's been tough and there has been crying before bedtime and naps, when he relied on it the most.

For now, his bookbag is packed, and he's got all his other school supplies. We are ready to get up bright and early in the morning and both Brad and I together take the time to get him settled into his class. I'm hoping there isn't too much drama when we leave.

God, I place him in your hands as I know he is yours already. Protect and guide him, help him learn, grow and thrive in this preschool. And give us, his parents, the peace and guidance as we continue to take care of this precious gift you've given us. Amen.

He's always one step ahead of me. :)

My little 2 year old

Love that smile!

What a sweetie I have!

Do Not Be Anxious

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Phillipians 4:6-7

This verse is taped to my monitor at work. Often I don't notice it and forget it is there. But on days like today, God opens my eyes and provides me with the lift I need. He speaks through his words, but I too often don't look to them. God never leaves us or forsakes us, and is always looking for ways to speak to us, to provide us comfort and peace. This verse is key to me as I have a big tendency to worry, and God knows that. Thanks God for the much needed words of encouragement today. Let me continue to look to you, and your word, always.

Some days

Some days are better than others. Some weeks, and some years too. I've had my share of tough times. It often feels like one step forward and two steps back. That's what I'm dealing with this week. Brad and I are really feeling the effects of the economic downturn in our country. I know this affects many of you too, as we've seen among our friends and family. But it has now touched us more than I thought it would.

The company I work for has been deeply affected by the lack of funds for development, with the bank/mortgage crisis and cut back in consumer spending, and the slowdown in highway work from the local governments. They have had several rounds of layoffs, cutting to the bare bones really. As I handle marketing, I've been swamped, preparing more proposals than ever, and researching to find more work to go after. Unfortunately, in order to not cut any more jobs, my firm had to "roll back" salaries this week for all employees. As we'd found things pretty tight in our budget coming out of 2008 and several unexpected expenses, this is not an easy thing for Brad and I. It is such a setback. And we still haven't figured out the details on where we are going to cut. We were already very conservative in our spending, so I know it is going to hurt. Overall, I find myself sad and frustrated. I know it is all out of my control, but that fact isn't providing much comfort.

I am VERY GRATEFUL that I still have a job. A good friend of mine just got laid off last week, and my heart aches for her as she is out there in a tough time trying to find a job. Who knows how long that will take her and what she might have to settle with. And many family members are hurting financially as well because of the times, and all of that has me really bummed.

I'm sad that the hopes I've had for our future feel like they are slipping farther away, more out of reach because we may not financially be able to make them happen. These things we were working hard for, and now we are just working hard. I hate that there are things I want but may not be able to provide for Evan. I'd love your prayers. I trust in God...he has always proven trustworthy in my life. I still believe his is in control, though I am not. I know he will see us through, but I know that doesn't mean it won't be hard. He will provide for all of us, and enable us to provide for Evan's needs, I am confident. But how it will all happen...I'm still processing this.

Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for my company, for its future, that we will secure new work soon, and that current projects that are on hold or pending will come through in this time of need. Pray that Brad's raise (which was promised several months ago) will actually come through very soon. This gives us hope. It won't make up the whole difference of my pay decrease, but will really minimize it. Also, pray for my friend, and family members who are struggling. You may not know their exact situation but God knows. And pray for our country. That we can come out of this hard time and get back to the prosperity our country is known for. I hate hearing of new layoffs every day. People are hurting.

I'm focusing on the verse from Matthew 6:26 that I've heard so often over the years. But in times like these we need the constant reminder of God's provision.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

I will continue to count my blessings, even though on days like these they seem to be overshadowed. There is always something to be thankful for. And our happiness, our joy in life, does not stem from circumstances but from our attitude. As my mom has always said, when you wake up in the morning, you have a choice to be happy or not. It's all up to you.

"Happiness doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It simply means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

I love this quote I saw today on Jody's blog. She gives some wonderful insight into happiness and being content. It was just what I needed to be reminded of today. It actually brought to mind another bible verse.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1: 2-4

I'm working towards that joy...I know I will get there once I work my way through my other emotions.