Some days

Some days are better than others. Some weeks, and some years too. I've had my share of tough times. It often feels like one step forward and two steps back. That's what I'm dealing with this week. Brad and I are really feeling the effects of the economic downturn in our country. I know this affects many of you too, as we've seen among our friends and family. But it has now touched us more than I thought it would.

The company I work for has been deeply affected by the lack of funds for development, with the bank/mortgage crisis and cut back in consumer spending, and the slowdown in highway work from the local governments. They have had several rounds of layoffs, cutting to the bare bones really. As I handle marketing, I've been swamped, preparing more proposals than ever, and researching to find more work to go after. Unfortunately, in order to not cut any more jobs, my firm had to "roll back" salaries this week for all employees. As we'd found things pretty tight in our budget coming out of 2008 and several unexpected expenses, this is not an easy thing for Brad and I. It is such a setback. And we still haven't figured out the details on where we are going to cut. We were already very conservative in our spending, so I know it is going to hurt. Overall, I find myself sad and frustrated. I know it is all out of my control, but that fact isn't providing much comfort.

I am VERY GRATEFUL that I still have a job. A good friend of mine just got laid off last week, and my heart aches for her as she is out there in a tough time trying to find a job. Who knows how long that will take her and what she might have to settle with. And many family members are hurting financially as well because of the times, and all of that has me really bummed.

I'm sad that the hopes I've had for our future feel like they are slipping farther away, more out of reach because we may not financially be able to make them happen. These things we were working hard for, and now we are just working hard. I hate that there are things I want but may not be able to provide for Evan. I'd love your prayers. I trust in God...he has always proven trustworthy in my life. I still believe his is in control, though I am not. I know he will see us through, but I know that doesn't mean it won't be hard. He will provide for all of us, and enable us to provide for Evan's needs, I am confident. But how it will all happen...I'm still processing this.

Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for my company, for its future, that we will secure new work soon, and that current projects that are on hold or pending will come through in this time of need. Pray that Brad's raise (which was promised several months ago) will actually come through very soon. This gives us hope. It won't make up the whole difference of my pay decrease, but will really minimize it. Also, pray for my friend, and family members who are struggling. You may not know their exact situation but God knows. And pray for our country. That we can come out of this hard time and get back to the prosperity our country is known for. I hate hearing of new layoffs every day. People are hurting.

I'm focusing on the verse from Matthew 6:26 that I've heard so often over the years. But in times like these we need the constant reminder of God's provision.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

I will continue to count my blessings, even though on days like these they seem to be overshadowed. There is always something to be thankful for. And our happiness, our joy in life, does not stem from circumstances but from our attitude. As my mom has always said, when you wake up in the morning, you have a choice to be happy or not. It's all up to you.

"Happiness doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It simply means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

I love this quote I saw today on Jody's blog. She gives some wonderful insight into happiness and being content. It was just what I needed to be reminded of today. It actually brought to mind another bible verse.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1: 2-4

I'm working towards that joy...I know I will get there once I work my way through my other emotions.